Top Ten Reasons for
Being a Tenor
10) Tenors get high - without drugs.

9) Name a musical where the bass
got the girl.

8) You can show the sopranos how it SHOULD be sung.

7) Did you ever hear of anyone
paying $1000 for a ticket to see
The Three Basses?

6) Who needs brains when you've
got resonance?

5) Tenors never have to waste time
looking through the self-
improvement section of the
bookstore.

4) You get to sing along with John
Denver singing High Calypso.

3) When you get really good at
falsetto, you can make tons of
moneydoing voice-overs for
cartoon characters

2) Gregorian chant was practically
invented for tenors. Nobody
invented a genre for basses.

1) You can entertain your friends by
impersonating Julia Child.

Top Ten Reasons for
Being a Bass

10) You don't have to tighten your
shorts to reach your note.

9) You don't have to worry about a
woman stealing your job.

8) Or a pre adolescent boy.

7) Action heroes are always basses.
That is - if they ever sang,
they would sing bass.

6) You get great memorable lyrics
like bop, bop, bop, bop. (boong
ching.... boong chi-ching)

5) If the singing job doesn't work
out, there's always broadcasting.

4) You never need to learn to read
the treble clef.

3) If you get a cold, so what.

2) For fun, you can sing at the
bottom of your range and fool
people into thinking there's an
earthquake.

1) If you belch while you're singing,
the audience just thinks it's part
of the score.

Top Ten Reasons for
Being a Soprano

10) The rest of the choir exists just to
make you look good.

9) You can entertain your friends by
breaking their wine glasses.

8) Can you name an opera where an
alto got the man?

7) When sopranos want to sing in the
shower, they know the tune.

6) It's not like you are ever going to
sing the alto part by accident.

5) Great costumes - like the hat
with the horns on it.

4) How many world famous altos
can you name?

3) When the fat lady sings, she's
usually singing soprano.

2) When you get tired of singing the
tune, you can sing the descant.

1) You can sing along with Michael
Jackson.

Top Ten Reasons for
Being an Alto

10) You get really good at singing E
flat.

9) You get to sing the same note for
12 consecutive measures.
(tang...... tang..... tang......)

8) You don't really need to warm up
to sing 12 consecutive bars of E
flat.

7) If the choir really sucks, it's
unlikely the altos will be blamed.

6) You have lots of time to chat
during soprano solos.

5) You get to pretend that you are
better than the sopranos, because

everybody knows that women
only sing soprano so they don't
have to learn to read music.

4) You can sometimes find part time
work singing tenor.

3) Altos get all the great intervals.

2) When the sopranos are holding
some outrageously high note at
the end of an anthem, the altos
always get the last words.

1) When the altos miss a note,
nobody gets hurt.