KARAOKE KASINO

By Bud Young

Dispense with the money gaming, and picture, if you can, a "Kasino" strictly dedicated to the gambling mores of the "Kers" who take risks every time they sing.

At this extravagant emporium can be found those who seek either fame and fortune, or a final resting place for their ill-advised attempts toward stardom.

You are not required to bet money on your performance, but you might be reminded to tip the "Dealer" (KJ, to you), as well as the "Cocktail Server (Bartender, to you).

However, you are required to notify the "Pit Boss",  (Dealer, KJ, to you) in which game you intend to compete.

Categories abound for your pleasure and participation, such as, PUNK ROCK ROULETTE, COUNTRY CRAPS, RAP BACCARAT, TEXAS HOLD'EM POKE'EM, BLACKJACK BALLADS, AND STUD and STUDDESS SING-A LONGS.

There are prizes as well as penalties in each category, so you want to weigh the rewards against the costs relative to each.

For example, in PUNK ROCK ROULETTE, you choose a song from ODD or EVEN, or RED or Black---- then you perform. 

Upon finishing your song the "Croupier" (Pit Boss, Dealer, KJ, to you) spins the wheel and lets the little white ball fall.  If it stops on your odd/even number, or on your red/black color, you become a finalist in that category... but, if neither your number nor color comes up, you lose and your hair will be put up in PUNK SPIKES-- HELD IN PLACE BY SUPER GLUE!

If you choose COUNTRY CRAPS, you get to sing the song of your choice--- and when you finish you get to throw the dice.  If you throw a 7 or 11, you become a finalist------but if you throw a 2, 3 or 12, you lose and you will be penalized by having to take off your clothes and wallow on the dice table which is filled with--you guessed it---COUNTRY CRAPS--(PIG STUFF, TO YOU).

Should you decide on the STUD and STUDDESS DUET, you must recruit a second singer, preferably of the opposite gender. Any duet song is allowed providing it contains only one obscene word that you may use as often as necessary in attempting to gain votes.  Judging will be based on audience shock reaction.  The winning couple wins First Place Prize, which is getting to sing the background music at an orgy of their choice----whereas the losers get their dubious talents emasculated (Larynx, to you)

So now, let the show begin, and let the "CHIPPIES" fall where they may

P-S- If you are out on a Stag Nite, (alone, to you), and it looks like you may not get lucky, you can always "LAY A BET"!!

THE "K"ARD SHARK.